Opening The Shed Door
Life's getting a bit crazy at the moment and something has to give. I seem to be great at organising people/groups/walls but when it comes to me I sort of just muddle through it and hope for the best!
Steph, my ever enduring wife is swimming the English Channel next month as part of a relay team. She's organised it as a warm up for her solo attempt in two years time. I've obviously known about this for the last year or so and I've also known that she needs to put the hours in to train hard for this. Myself, well I've got the UTMB, a 100 mile foot race around Mount Blanc starting in Chamonix passing through Italy, Switzerland and returning to Chamonix coming up at the end of August and I also have this project called Awesome Walls Climbing Centre Sheffield that has been billed as England's largest climbing centre to contend with.
As the dates grow closer, the more time and effort we want to put in to pursue our own goals. I can feel the noose tightening around my neck, as much as I feel I'm invincible, I've got a deep gnawing feeling that I'm in for a huge catastrophic life crash sooner than I expect.
Sitting down around a table and talking about things just doesn’t do it for me, no I have to find myself whilst tested to the limit, that's when I come to peace with myself and I don't have to make decisions because when I come through them the action is already decided. Am I getting heavy here? Okay let's lighten up with a little tale of one of my early experiences of this-
Three months before I married Debbie (my first wife, Charlottes Mum) I decided that I needed a break. It wasn't a break from Debbie, it was just a break from life, like saying 'stop the bus I want to get off for a while, don't worry I'll get back on another one soon!' To say there was a bit of concern flying around the families would be a slight understatement. Two weeks later with far to many stories to tell here I arrived home to a very pensive reception, has Dave changed his mind, has Dave come out the closet, has Dave realised the upset and trauma he's caused everyone, no Dave's just Dave but he knows marrying Debbie is the right thing to do (everything happens for a reason).
So here I am trying to balance the status quo of life and all I know is I want to go for a big run. The run that had been in my head since last weeks meeting with a stranger on the fell. Come to think to think of it, who was that stranger that I gravitated towards with a sense of need? One minute I was totally alone with the fell at my feet, next a stranger is egging me on to follow and catch him up, then he gently plants a seed into my head that I need to run this route of his. Paul McKenna he wasn't, a person of a much higher order I think (Paul Daniels?).
It's the weekend, I arrive back from Sheffield on Friday and announce to Steph that I need to get a big run in on Sunday, I can see in her eyes that she already has plans of her own to swim and plans for us as a family to share together. The seed in my head has grown to such a proportion that it's totally blinding me and I know what I must do, it has short term repercussions but in the grand scale of life there was no stopping me for an inner calling was saying 'if you don’t run the Shed you'd better find another bed', well it didn't actually say that to me but on reflection several weeks later it sort of makes sense.
Sunday morning and I compromise, Steph goes for her swim and I leave shortly afterwards to spend the week in Sheffield but I need to conquer the Shed first!
BTW I hope you read http://www.delamerespartans.org.uk/spartan-blog/finding-shed first!